Friday, November 7, 2008

How To Handle Stress

This has always entertained me to a ridiculous degree. When I worked full time it seemed funnier. Now that I am the mother of a three-year-old, they don't seem so far-fetched....and actually, I've done some of these things....

  1. shove 39 marshmellows up your nose and try to sneeze them out
  2. use your Mastercard to pay your Visa
  3. pop some popcorn without putting the lid on
  4. when someone says "have a nice day", tell them you have other plans
  5. find out what a frog in a blender really looks like
  6. forget the diet center and send yourself a candygram
  7. make a list of things to do tht you've already done
  8. dance naked in front of your pets
  9. put your toddlers clothes on backwards and send him off to preschool as if nothing is wrong
  10. retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with roman numerals
  11. tattoo "out to lunch" on your forehead
  12. go shopping. buy everything. sweat on it. return it the next day.
  13. pay your electric bill in pennies
  14. drive to work in reverse
  15. relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of the flintstones during an important finance mtg
  16. refresh yourself: put your tongue on a cold steel guardrail
  17. polish your car with ear wax
  18. read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages
  19. bill your doctor for time spent in the waiting room
  20. braid the hairs in each nostril
  21. write a short story using alphabet soup
  22. lie on your back eating celery, using your navel as a salt dipper
  23. stare at people through the line of a fork and pretend they're in jail
  24. make up a language and ask people for directions
  25. tell your friendly neurosurgeon that you are here for a brain transplant


Dee and Elijah Sue said...

Ya know what is REALLY scary? I've actually done some of these things! Of course, I am not going to confess to which ones....needless to say, I can HANDLE the stress; People just can't HANDLE my insane outlets for that stress....

Oh, and I can soooooooo relate with stuff. I have boxes of it in a spare room. No where to put it. But it is MY stuff. It has followed me around for years. I occassionally peak in the boxes, just to make sure my stuff is still there. I will have to build an addition, just so I can let my stuff out of boxes.....


bubba said...

get ready. Knock knock.

What is this leisure time of which you speak?

my grateful button