How To Handle Stress
This has always entertained me to a ridiculous degree. When I worked full time it seemed funnier. Now that I am the mother of a three-year-old, they don't seem so far-fetched....and actually, I've done some of these things....- shove 39 marshmellows up your nose and try to sneeze them out
- use your Mastercard to pay your Visa
- pop some popcorn without putting the lid on
- when someone says "have a nice day", tell them you have other plans
- find out what a frog in a blender really looks like
- forget the diet center and send yourself a candygram
- make a list of things to do tht you've already done
- dance naked in front of your pets
- put your toddlers clothes on backwards and send him off to preschool as if nothing is wrong
- retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with roman numerals
- tattoo "out to lunch" on your forehead
- go shopping. buy everything. sweat on it. return it the next day.
- pay your electric bill in pennies
- drive to work in reverse
- relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of the flintstones during an important finance mtg
- refresh yourself: put your tongue on a cold steel guardrail
- polish your car with ear wax
- read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages
- bill your doctor for time spent in the waiting room
- braid the hairs in each nostril
- write a short story using alphabet soup
- lie on your back eating celery, using your navel as a salt dipper
- stare at people through the line of a fork and pretend they're in jail
- make up a language and ask people for directions
- tell your friendly neurosurgeon that you are here for a brain transplant
2 comments:
Ya know what is REALLY scary? I've actually done some of these things! Of course, I am not going to confess to which ones....needless to say, I can HANDLE the stress; People just can't HANDLE my insane outlets for that stress....
Oh, and I can soooooooo relate with stuff. I have boxes of it in a spare room. No where to put it. But it is MY stuff. It has followed me around for years. I occassionally peak in the boxes, just to make sure my stuff is still there. I will have to build an addition, just so I can let my stuff out of boxes.....
~D
get ready. Knock knock.
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